sportsbitch

Dec 19, 2025 23:39

if she has a man or a c**k or kids

Quiet99

Dec 20, 2025 00:39

1. indication(s) of narcissism, such as an ego that can be seen on earth from space, or standards high enough to touch the hand of God.

2. Anything that berates a man's existence. Especially for shallow reasons, like being juuust 🤏 under 6'0 tall or being quote unquote: "broke 🤪" are always cause for an immediate skip, or left swipe.

3. Long list(s) of pre-set preferences, as if they're creating a character in a videogame.

4. The "In order for me to like you, my friends, or my dog have to like you first." types. Once again, always an immediate skip.

Now on Altscene specifically, here's what I've seen a fair amount of times:

I've read some rather salty sounding bios from people who are obviously still hurting from whatever their previous relationship(s) did to them. Some are 20-something single moms.

I'm not demonizing the victim(s) though, shït just happens unfortunately. Hard not to sound condescending, but that isn't how I want this to come off.

I just think that they should take a break from dating rather than forcing their mental health to the side over and over, in favor of finding happiness in other people. I've been there.

Rock-fücking bottom.

And in that hole of desperation, is where a lot of people mess up, happiness should always come from within, as should self-worth. Never seek these things from anyone, ever.

Needless to say, I always just click off those profiles, wishing them the best.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

Dec 20, 2025 14:16

I think Quiet summed it up perfectly. These type of profiles come off too condescending, delusional, formulaic, or bitter. None of these things are a good look.

The last tidbit about how happiness should come from within rather than being sought out in others is also very true. Admittedly I used to be one of those people but I've come to realize that such an outlook is not only unrealistic, but it only puts more pressure on the other person.

Mercurius Mesmerize

Dec 20, 2025 16:34

If youre asking for red flags then...
I've seen a lot of people list they want someone with "emotional intelligence". I'm not sure what they're actually asking for, maybe they don't either since at this point it seems like the latest pretentious buzz word. But if I had to guess I'd say they are asking for a mind reader as they themselves have poor communication skills.

Bunniiicula

Dec 20, 2025 18:04

"If you want to know more, just ask."

Oh, so you want me to interview you. Specifically, here on AltScene there is a surprising amount of men who have profiles with maybe one sentence or not much more than their name and social media handle. Then they add "just ask." This is AltScene. Part of what connects alternative people is their love of music. So why didn't you list any of your favorite bands?

Not filling out your profile shows a lack of effort. Which leads me to believe that you are going to be lazy and boring in a relationship. Who wants to be with someone who is lazy and uninteresting? Ask yourself if you would date you if you were a stranger reading your profile...and be honest with yourself.

Deleted User

Dec 20, 2025 18:17

I saw a profile and read it. Saw the part about face in crotch. Nah bro.

NEØN

Dec 21, 2025 00:18

@Bunni yeah if I see "just ask" that's an automatic pass every time. Same with "good vibes only" because those folks never bring good vibes

Dr. Sus

Dec 21, 2025 01:37

Werewolves

emperorroberto

Dec 21, 2025 08:12

One girl had a profile that said no p**n users.

Dr. Sus

Dec 21, 2025 17:30

Roberto, if you remember who they were please msg me. I wanna ask her, "What about p**n stars? Are they fine to msg. you?"

The people who give you almsot nothing to go off, and then add the just ask piece. They expect you to come up with the most bangin', mind blowing message ever, right off the bat.

Crowcifiction

Dec 21, 2025 21:32

When a woman's profile says they're independent... what does that mean exactly and why does it need to be stated?

Dr. Sus

Dec 21, 2025 21:41

Dude... in my experience, every time a woman says that, it's thee exact opposite. The first one to ever say that was the clingiest woman I've ever dated.

What else... idk, this is a little off topic, but when soemone doesn't believe what I'm saying, drives me nuts. I got a woman's socials from here when I was mid story about a crazy woman I met here. We were sharing crazy altscene stories. So... I get her socials, finish the story of this fùcking crazy woman I met here, I could tell this new gal didn't believe me, basically went ghost after that. I know it wasn't anything I did (other than sharing the story) because who the f**k asks for soemones socials and then ghosts them right away? Plus, as I said, I could tell she didn't believe me.

Mercurius Mesmerize

Dec 21, 2025 22:23

Independent woman is the same as "I want a man but I don't need a man"... which translates to they should get a dog instead if they're looking for an accessory and not a partnership.

RetroGamer

Dec 26, 2025 12:31

OF.

NEØN

Dec 26, 2025 13:48

Another red flag, when you rant about the opposite s*x on your profile. Nobody wants to date a person is vocally resentful or hateful of their gender.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

Dec 26, 2025 15:43

You never know, it might be someone's kink.

I don't think anyone would want to date someone who is resentful period though unless it's a mutual resentment.

Mercurius Mesmerize

Dec 27, 2025 00:26

I feel like a lot of people are living in dream land when they're filling out there profiles with what they're looking for. It's not build a bear, build your perfect person... its an advertisement about yourself... and you're probably not all your looking for yourself.

I'm not sure whether dating apps are actually responsible for creating this mind set. But I'd be really glad to see some basic profiles with realistic quotas.

Mercurius Mesmerize

Dec 27, 2025 00:32

I should also add it seems like "take a photo of you being fun" has been done overboard with, with the amount of summer holiday photos people use, as well as profiles going on about going on their next holiday or around the world... I don't want to meet someone who's busy jetting off all the time, do you not have any other hobbies that don't involve walking around cliffs and lazing around in the sun?

MetalGuitaristTim

Dec 27, 2025 01:58

The ones that have it in their bio sorta like this:

"I love Jesus!" and you should love Jesus too and go to church every Sunday."

If you love Jesus that much you shouldn't be on a dating website go date Jesus instead or go to church and date some churchgoers or the priest.

That's just my 2 cents 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️

PatheticBeauty

Dec 27, 2025 10:55

I'm with Neon. That type of behavior always icks me out (and lets me know it's best to steer clear).

Deleted User

Dec 28, 2025 06:52

I'm not going to read a whole essay

Deleted User

Dec 29, 2025 16:00

Anything about being a cam*****.

Dr. Sus

Dec 30, 2025 23:48

See, that's funny, because I ONLY want cam*****s.

Baba Yaga

Dec 31, 2025 12:03

Crowcifiction

Jan 3, 2026 22:07

Why do women match on bumble (designed for women to make the first move), and then let their 24 hour timer run out? At least women on tinder who have second thoughts unmatch sooner than later.

HayRaven

Jan 4, 2026 11:23

Hatred/bitterness towards a particular group whether it be to a particular gender or type of person.

Profiles that are like the person must have this or must be this type of person. Almost like a job interview which is not what I am here for.
The good thing (in my opinion) about people is that we are not all the same and its fun to learn about people and how they live their life not go around with a checklist in their head ticking everyone off they deam unworthy.

Also anything that indicates the person just wants a quick meaningless sha*g. Nothing wrong with people putting that and I would rather people put that if its all they are after. It is not what I am looking for so it helps me decide who to talk to.

emperorroberto

Jan 19, 2026 22:27

Hey,dr Sus;Violetstarr 38 London,UK.She hasn't been online since 2024.

emperorroberto

Jan 20, 2026 04:55

Wasn't suppose to talk about anyone personally.Sorry,won't do again.

Crowcifiction

Jan 20, 2026 13:56

Ok, don't do it again and we'll forget this whole thing.

Steph

Jan 25, 2026 18:25

@Reberto said profile is direct and to the point. What's not to like?
Don't fit the criteria? Click away, never give it a secont thought and everyone is better off because noboies time got uneccesarily wasted and everyone wins.

emperorroberto

Jan 26, 2026 07:09

What did Steph mean?

Deleted User

Jan 28, 2026 12:23

Steph is a persons name, happy to help!

🧜🏻‍♀️_Siren_🧜🏻‍♀️

Feb 25, 2026 23:02

Women match and don't speak for the " look how many people fancy me" ... Men too .

There Shallow, self involved and insecure...

🧜🏻‍♀️_Siren_🧜🏻‍♀️

Feb 25, 2026 23:08

Their * 😭

Mercurius Mesmerize

Feb 26, 2026 06:42

There, there.

Kira Kira!!~

Mar 1, 2026 14:30

When he's dry af when he texts like he's uninterested. I'm not gonna waste my time guessing how you feel when you could just tell me if you're bored so I can skip and not waste any of our time.

Deleted User

Mar 6, 2026 16:49

When their profile smells like stale farts. It's like cmon.

Plague_flowers

Mar 6, 2026 23:42

Here's one I pulled directly from someone's profile on here. How do you go from saying you can't be right-wing and alternative to saying you don't care about black women all in the same sentence? Such a dumb human.

"First of all , you cannot be rightwing and alternative. Also , and I’m finna hold your hand when I say this, but you cannot be “neutral” to political issues and be alternative. Just say you’re privileged and don’t care abt black women and go. Argue w your mama.
Now that that’s out of the way."

Crowcifiction

Mar 6, 2026 23:51

What does finna mean?

Crowcifiction

Mar 6, 2026 23:56

I feel like after my latest browse people are in a competition to write the most obnoxious, self centred, must have check listed profiles then anyone else.

There's definitely a lot of "you must be this and you must do that", instead of "hello, I am this and I like that".

IAMEYK

Mar 7, 2026 02:04

You must be this tall to get on this ride

🧜🏻‍♀️_Siren_🧜🏻‍♀️

Mar 7, 2026 19:13

Lots say they don't reply to hello, hey, hi.
Be more creative...
You be creative and they don't reply so good luck with that lol
I'm not talking about me, I don't message people for years now, or reply unless I know them so lol

🧜🏻‍♀️_Siren_🧜🏻‍♀️

Mar 7, 2026 19:13

I'm 4'11

Mercurius Mesmerize

Mar 7, 2026 20:46

I think he is precisely referring to the stereotypical gem of short women looking for people leagues taller than them. With memes showcasing "6 foot 4 tall? Sorry I only date 6 foot 5."

NEØN

Mar 8, 2026 03:56

I'm 5'8 🙃 I've actually historically dated short kings. When you're a taller than average woman ironically tall men don't go for you 😂

Are you for real only 4'11? 😂

NEØN

Mar 8, 2026 04:09

I will say my current partner is over 6 feet but the majority of my exes have all been under 6 feet. I am the height of the average man, I am used to not feeling "small" so height doesn't matter to me. For me it's all about the dudes face card. I would rather date a handsome 5'5 guy than an ugly 6'5 guy. So I guess still shallow lmao

IAMEYK

Mar 8, 2026 05:49

Merc, I wasn't really referring to that meme but I can totally see how that would fit here

🧜🏻‍♀️_Siren_🧜🏻‍♀️

Mar 9, 2026 23:29

I was aware of what he was on about I just mentioned I'm smol

Yes I'm only 4'11 lol

Tallest I've dated is 6'5 🤣

Yessss short kings are always a vibe but they are still tall to me 🤣

Deleted User

Mar 10, 2026 01:32

I'm 9 giants tall

LISfan1

Mar 10, 2026 05:49

I’ve been using this site for years and I still haven’t figured that out. The main reasons girls don’t like me is because I’m overweight and I’m autistic.

🧜🏻‍♀️_Siren_🧜🏻‍♀️

Mar 11, 2026 00:03

It won't be the autism, there is a Posse of spectrum around these parts

Dr. Sus

Mar 12, 2026 19:54

Here's a question, I wonder how many women would date a tall guy with a small d**k.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

Mar 12, 2026 21:27

Probably the same number who would date a short guy with a large d**k

Mercurius Mesmerize

Mar 12, 2026 22:29

Is it only in perspective to their height though?

NEØN

Mar 13, 2026 15:33

d**k size is more important than height lol. Bigger isn't always better, there's a Goldilocks zone for good d**k size

🧜🏻‍♀️_Siren_🧜🏻‍♀️

Mar 13, 2026 21:42

Girth my dear, the girth 🤣

NEØN

Mar 13, 2026 22:41

Girth > length for sure

Deleted User

Mar 14, 2026 14:36

Girth is the planet we live on

Baba Yaga

Mar 15, 2026 23:20

Yeah. Knowing your Dom girth is the key hah. Effing sausage party. Good my eyes are in my head. And the memories remain... *guitar solo as a kitten*

Baba Yaga

Mar 15, 2026 23:21

^@Jay

🧜🏻‍♀️_Siren_🧜🏻‍♀️

Mar 16, 2026 22:07

Chunky

MetalisTheAlternative

Mar 31, 2026 13:29

Laff.

Deleted User

Mar 31, 2026 14:50

Ah yes, profiles that repel… meanwhile, I am that in human form. 🖤✨ Do not talk. Legendary energy achieved. 💀

Theeoldways37

Mar 31, 2026 15:07

Im starting to doubt my profile now, can someone have a look and tell me if I sound narcissistic or if I seem angry.

Deleted User

Mar 31, 2026 15:30

@Theeoldways37 Narcissistic? Angry? Who can say. I only specialize in being human repellent. 🖤✨

Theeoldways37

Mar 31, 2026 15:35

Im all those things I just wanted to make sure it was clear 🤣🤣🤣 I doubt that anyone could cal you that. And if you are its obviously your subconscious protecting you from d**kheads. 😊

Deleted User

Mar 31, 2026 15:40

@Theeoldways37 You’re fine… probably. Compared to me, you’re practically approachable.

Theeoldways37

Mar 31, 2026 15:47

Your too hard on yourself.

Deleted User

Mar 31, 2026 15:47

@Theeoldways37 Glad someone gets it. 😆

Theeoldways37

Mar 31, 2026 15:54

Sending you a black roses and some choc.

Deleted User

Mar 31, 2026 15:59

@Theeoldways37 Perfect. Fuel for mischief and melancholy. 💀

Theeoldways37

Mar 31, 2026 16:12

And a night of watching horror

Deleted User

Mar 31, 2026 16:22

The sacred trinity is complete: roses, chocolate, horror. Witchy alignment achieved.

Baba Yaga

Apr 1, 2026 23:03

I would add have a profile completely made up and hide between vail of stupidity and attention seeking.
Or being a troll.
I knew a few. I use to belong with them. The queen of trolls and misfits.
You giys would die after my family reunion 😅🤣

Baba Yaga

Apr 1, 2026 23:03

Guys*

Mercurius Mesmerize

Apr 1, 2026 23:28

Did you guys just become best friends?

Baba Yaga

Apr 2, 2026 00:02

Nope. Never in my life i was more sure of hating everyone without exception. Im sorry. No niceness left here. Need to replenish and rest.
Hibernation mode on.
Rituals on hold. We are on strike until further notice.

NEØN

Apr 2, 2026 03:25

You hate me too? Wow ... I thought we were friends

Baba Yaga

Apr 2, 2026 07:18

Sorry Neon its more of a whole humanity thing. I do like you as a person!

NEØN

Apr 3, 2026 03:14

Yay 😁 I am glad someone here likes me lmao

Dragon_Of_Dark_Desires

Apr 5, 2026 14:46

I came to realize that no matter what people write on their dating profiles, they will attract people on a similar wavelength, willingly or unwillingly. If I am bothered by something someone posted on their profile, I am still on the same wavelength as that person, even if they wrote what I find to be the dumbest thing a human being whose soul has evolved over the span of 14 billion years of evolution could write.

NEØN

Apr 6, 2026 01:03

Dragon is spot on. Like attracts like

GothicGentleman666

Apr 29, 2026 13:31

There's a very common type of bio on here that usually uses the same fraises and metaphors in order to attract people and most of the time the profile pic is just some pretty lady who isn't even goth. For example it might say something like i'm a very kind and thoughtful woman who's looking for a man that knows what he wants and is ready for a serious relationship my heart is open to new ideas and so on. So you talk to her for a bit after reading all that and she says to go to a separate app like Zangi, Discord, Snapchat, and so on and once you talk to her there for a bit she starts asking you for money, So yeah those types of bios with pretty non goth girls in the picture are what you should avoid the profile pic was most likely stolen and it's just being run by scammers

Stu Bilderberg

Apr 29, 2026 14:05

Mentioning all your intersectional victimhood statuses, i.e., “I’m bipolar and demi-pan-greysèxual and 1/18th Palestinian and nonbinary / genderfluid and 1/14th autistic and my great-great-great-great-great-17th granduncle was an enslaved person who came over on the Mayflower and I’m physically disadvantaged because I weigh 428 pounds and have 4 children by 3 different fathers.”

No one cares, you’re a loser.

Baba Yaga

Apr 29, 2026 14:45

^
Max who are you talking to Mate?

Stu Bilderberg

Apr 29, 2026 15:53

I’m addressing the initial question of the thread, the things in a profile that make your eyes glaze over.

Baba Yaga

Apr 29, 2026 20:10

I recommend reading some Jung for you Max. It might help with your literally impossible ask. So you want to date people without family or roots? To the death. Till death tear us apart. You are either very mad or more crazy than me.

ZKRB

Apr 29, 2026 20:28

I like reading all profiles, specially the old abandoned ones.
Nothing surprises or makes "eyes roll", just have a fun time looking at the individual quirks of everyone.

Stu Bilderberg

Apr 29, 2026 20:42

Oh so you want to date people who are likely to be offended by everything? You’re either playing coy because you know exactly the type of obnoxious dipshít I’m talking about, or you really have never encountered this type of person and are unaware not only that they exist but just how exhausting it is to interact with them.

WalterLuigi

Apr 29, 2026 23:57

That type seems to also love throwing in "I'm poly and you need to be okay with joining my polycule" these days too

Dr. Sus

Apr 30, 2026 00:03

Idk if being pan-demi sexual really constitutes a victim hood mentality, but I do see your point. I've been getting really annoyed by the term "neuro-divergent" lately.

WalterLuigi

Apr 30, 2026 00:14

Sounds borderline oxymoronic though ngl.

Baba Yaga

Apr 30, 2026 00:50

You mean autism as an mental health condition or just being different? Or perceiving world with different perspective?

NEØN

Apr 30, 2026 00:53

People in the states at least use the term to mean they have autism, ADHD, or a personality disorder.

WalterLuigi

Apr 30, 2026 01:33

Assuming we're talking about "neurodivergent"

Like neon said, here it basically just means you're diagnosed with something be it autism, adhd, depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, etc.

It's a politically correct way of saying "mentally ill".

Baba Yaga

Apr 30, 2026 01:40

Uuu fancy... I heard all Ibogane stuff.
Its fucen Tricky and I love Ibogane. Had many times. Didn't help at all so dont even ask but you people might like it.

NEØN

Apr 30, 2026 18:11

Was that English?

St Georges Jay

Apr 30, 2026 18:38

"That" actually was English, is comes ffom the old English "þæt"! Altho, i dont know how far back you want to dig, because of course it has its routes in Proto-Germanic("þat"), and before that(or þat, hehe), Proto-Indo-European(“to-/tod”), altho that word was also used to mean "the". I'm happy to help with all your etymological queries, not entymological tho, i dont know s**t about bugs.

WalterLuigi

Apr 30, 2026 18:41

I've heard it shows promise for treating ptsd and addiction, but I've also heard it's very unpleasant physically and mentally.

Dr. Sus

Apr 30, 2026 19:01

You hallucinate a giant white owl that tries to fùck with you while you go through the trip, they say it's best to turn your head away and ignore it as beat you can.

NEØN

Apr 30, 2026 21:39

Sounds like a Twin Peaks fan fiction

Dr. Sus

Apr 30, 2026 23:16

It does, but that's what the ibogane detox clinics report. They say hundreds of their patients have seen it, it's actually the spirit of the sacred root. Ibogane has been used for thousands of years by tribes as a right of passage.

Crowcifiction

May 1, 2026 18:17

If the owl said "Hoo hoo" it was trying to engage in conversation, if it was "twit t-woo" then yes, it was fawking with you.