Dating profile no nos

Crowcifiction Created Dec 19, 2025 22:23 by Crowcifiction -
57 Comments

What things on dating profiles make you roll your eyes or question why they've wrote that when they're trying to attract people, not send them away?

This topic has 61 comments

sportsbitch

Dec 19, 2025 23:39

if she has a man or a c**k or kids

Quiet99

Dec 20, 2025 00:39

1. indication(s) of narcissism, such as an ego that can be seen on earth from space, or standards high enough to touch the hand of God.

2. Anything that berates a man's existence. Especially for shallow reasons, like being juuust 🤏 under 6'0 tall or being quote unquote: "broke 🤪" are always cause for an immediate skip, or left swipe.

3. Long list(s) of pre-set preferences, as if they're creating a character in a videogame.

4. The "In order for me to like you, my friends, or my dog have to like you first." types. Once again, always an immediate skip.

Now on Altscene specifically, here's what I've seen a fair amount of times:

I've read some rather salty sounding bios from people who are obviously still hurting from whatever their previous relationship(s) did to them. Some are 20-something single moms.

I'm not demonizing the victim(s) though, shït just happens unfortunately. Hard not to sound condescending, but that isn't how I want this to come off.

I just think that they should take a break from dating rather than forcing their mental health to the side over and over, in favor of finding happiness in other people. I've been there.

Rock-fücking bottom.

And in that hole of desperation, is where a lot of people mess up, happiness should always come from within, as should self-worth. Never seek these things from anyone, ever.

Needless to say, I always just click off those profiles, wishing them the best.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

Dec 20, 2025 14:16

I think Quiet summed it up perfectly. These type of profiles come off too condescending, delusional, formulaic, or bitter. None of these things are a good look.

The last tidbit about how happiness should come from within rather than being sought out in others is also very true. Admittedly I used to be one of those people but I've come to realize that such an outlook is not only unrealistic, but it only puts more pressure on the other person.

Mercurius Mesmerize

Dec 20, 2025 16:34

If youre asking for red flags then...
I've seen a lot of people list they want someone with "emotional intelligence". I'm not sure what they're actually asking for, maybe they don't either since at this point it seems like the latest pretentious buzz word. But if I had to guess I'd say they are asking for a mind reader as they themselves have poor communication skills.

Bunniiicula

Dec 20, 2025 18:04

"If you want to know more, just ask."

Oh, so you want me to interview you. Specifically, here on AltScene there is a surprising amount of men who have profiles with maybe one sentence or not much more than their name and social media handle. Then they add "just ask." This is AltScene. Part of what connects alternative people is their love of music. So why didn't you list any of your favorite bands?

Not filling out your profile shows a lack of effort. Which leads me to believe that you are going to be lazy and boring in a relationship. Who wants to be with someone who is lazy and uninteresting? Ask yourself if you would date you if you were a stranger reading your profile...and be honest with yourself.

Deleted User

Dec 20, 2025 18:17

I saw a profile and read it. Saw the part about face in crotch. Nah bro.

Neon™

Dec 21, 2025 00:18

@Bunni yeah if I see "just ask" that's an automatic pass every time. Same with "good vibes only" because those folks never bring good vibes

Dr. Sus

Dec 21, 2025 01:37

Werewolves

emperorroberto

Dec 21, 2025 08:12

One girl had a profile that said no p**n users.

Dr. Sus

Dec 21, 2025 17:30

Roberto, if you remember who they were please msg me. I wanna ask her, "What about p**n stars? Are they fine to msg. you?"

The people who give you almsot nothing to go off, and then add the just ask piece. They expect you to come up with the most bangin', mind blowing message ever, right off the bat.

Crowcifiction

Dec 21, 2025 21:32

When a woman's profile says they're independent... what does that mean exactly and why does it need to be stated?

Dr. Sus

Dec 21, 2025 21:41

Dude... in my experience, every time a woman says that, it's thee exact opposite. The first one to ever say that was the clingiest woman I've ever dated.

What else... idk, this is a little off topic, but when soemone doesn't believe what I'm saying, drives me nuts. I got a woman's socials from here when I was mid story about a crazy woman I met here. We were sharing crazy altscene stories. So... I get her socials, finish the story of this fùcking crazy woman I met here, I could tell this new gal didn't believe me, basically went ghost after that. I know it wasn't anything I did (other than sharing the story) because who the f**k asks for soemones socials and then ghosts them right away? Plus, as I said, I could tell she didn't believe me.

Mercurius Mesmerize

Dec 21, 2025 22:23

Independent woman is the same as "I want a man but I don't need a man"... which translates to they should get a dog instead if they're looking for an accessory and not a partnership.

RetroGamer

Dec 26, 2025 12:31

OF.

Neon™

Dec 26, 2025 13:48

Another red flag, when you rant about the opposite s*x on your profile. Nobody wants to date a person is vocally resentful or hateful of their gender.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

Dec 26, 2025 15:43

You never know, it might be someone's kink.

I don't think anyone would want to date someone who is resentful period though unless it's a mutual resentment.

Mercurius Mesmerize

Dec 27, 2025 00:26

I feel like a lot of people are living in dream land when they're filling out there profiles with what they're looking for. It's not build a bear, build your perfect person... its an advertisement about yourself... and you're probably not all your looking for yourself.

I'm not sure whether dating apps are actually responsible for creating this mind set. But I'd be really glad to see some basic profiles with realistic quotas.

Mercurius Mesmerize

Dec 27, 2025 00:32

I should also add it seems like "take a photo of you being fun" has been done overboard with, with the amount of summer holiday photos people use, as well as profiles going on about going on their next holiday or around the world... I don't want to meet someone who's busy jetting off all the time, do you not have any other hobbies that don't involve walking around cliffs and lazing around in the sun?

MetalGuitaristTim

Dec 27, 2025 01:58

The ones that have it in their bio sorta like this:

"I love Jesus!" and you should love Jesus too and go to church every Sunday."

If you love Jesus that much you shouldn't be on a dating website go date Jesus instead or go to church and date some churchgoers or the priest.

That's just my 2 cents 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️

PatheticBeauty

Dec 27, 2025 10:55

I'm with Neon. That type of behavior always icks me out (and lets me know it's best to steer clear).

Deleted User

Dec 28, 2025 06:52

I'm not going to read a whole essay

Deleted User

Dec 29, 2025 16:00

Anything about being a cam*****.

Dr. Sus

Dec 30, 2025 23:48

See, that's funny, because I ONLY want cam*****s.

Baba Yaga

Dec 31, 2025 12:03

Crowcifiction

Jan 3, 2026 22:07

Why do women match on bumble (designed for women to make the first move), and then let their 24 hour timer run out? At least women on tinder who have second thoughts unmatch sooner than later.

HayRaven

Jan 4, 2026 11:23

Hatred/bitterness towards a particular group whether it be to a particular gender or type of person.

Profiles that are like the person must have this or must be this type of person. Almost like a job interview which is not what I am here for.
The good thing (in my opinion) about people is that we are not all the same and its fun to learn about people and how they live their life not go around with a checklist in their head ticking everyone off they deam unworthy.

Also anything that indicates the person just wants a quick meaningless sha*g. Nothing wrong with people putting that and I would rather people put that if its all they are after. It is not what I am looking for so it helps me decide who to talk to.

emperorroberto

Jan 19, 2026 22:27

Hey,dr Sus;Violetstarr 38 London,UK.She hasn't been online since 2024.

emperorroberto

Jan 20, 2026 04:55

Wasn't suppose to talk about anyone personally.Sorry,won't do again.

Crowcifiction

Jan 20, 2026 13:56

Ok, don't do it again and we'll forget this whole thing.

Steph

Jan 25, 2026 18:25

@Reberto said profile is direct and to the point. What's not to like?
Don't fit the criteria? Click away, never give it a secont thought and everyone is better off because noboies time got uneccesarily wasted and everyone wins.

emperorroberto

Jan 26, 2026 07:09

What did Steph mean?

Equal Pay Jay

Jan 28, 2026 12:23

Steph is a persons name, happy to help!

🧜🏻‍♀️_Siren_🧜🏻‍♀️

Feb 25, 2026 23:02

Women match and don't speak for the " look how many people fancy me" ... Men too .

There Shallow, self involved and insecure...

🧜🏻‍♀️_Siren_🧜🏻‍♀️

Feb 25, 2026 23:08

Their * 😭

Mercurius Mesmerize

Feb 26, 2026 06:42

There, there.

Kira Kira!!~

Mar 1, 2026 14:30

When he's dry af when he texts like he's uninterested. I'm not gonna waste my time guessing how you feel when you could just tell me if you're bored so I can skip and not waste any of our time.

Deleted User

Mar 6, 2026 16:49

When their profile smells like stale farts. It's like cmon.

Plague_flowers

Mar 6, 2026 23:42

Here's one I pulled directly from someone's profile on here. How do you go from saying you can't be right-wing and alternative to saying you don't care about black women all in the same sentence? Such a dumb human.

"First of all , you cannot be rightwing and alternative. Also , and I’m finna hold your hand when I say this, but you cannot be “neutral” to political issues and be alternative. Just say you’re privileged and don’t care abt black women and go. Argue w your mama.
Now that that’s out of the way."

Crowcifiction

Mar 6, 2026 23:51

What does finna mean?

Crowcifiction

Mar 6, 2026 23:56

I feel like after my latest browse people are in a competition to write the most obnoxious, self centred, must have check listed profiles then anyone else.

There's definitely a lot of "you must be this and you must do that", instead of "hello, I am this and I like that".

IAMEYK

Mar 7, 2026 02:04

You must be this tall to get on this ride

🧜🏻‍♀️_Siren_🧜🏻‍♀️

Mar 7, 2026 19:13

Lots say they don't reply to hello, hey, hi.
Be more creative...
You be creative and they don't reply so good luck with that lol
I'm not talking about me, I don't message people for years now, or reply unless I know them so lol

🧜🏻‍♀️_Siren_🧜🏻‍♀️

Mar 7, 2026 19:13

I'm 4'11

Mercurius Mesmerize

Mar 7, 2026 20:46

I think he is precisely referring to the stereotypical gem of short women looking for people leagues taller than them. With memes showcasing "6 foot 4 tall? Sorry I only date 6 foot 5."

Neon™

Mar 8, 2026 03:56

I'm 5'8 🙃 I've actually historically dated short kings. When you're a taller than average woman ironically tall men don't go for you 😂

Are you for real only 4'11? 😂

Neon™

Mar 8, 2026 04:09

I will say my current partner is over 6 feet but the majority of my exes have all been under 6 feet. I am the height of the average man, I am used to not feeling "small" so height doesn't matter to me. For me it's all about the dudes face card. I would rather date a handsome 5'5 guy than an ugly 6'5 guy. So I guess still shallow lmao

IAMEYK

Mar 8, 2026 05:49

Merc, I wasn't really referring to that meme but I can totally see how that would fit here

🧜🏻‍♀️_Siren_🧜🏻‍♀️

Mar 9, 2026 23:29

I was aware of what he was on about I just mentioned I'm smol

Yes I'm only 4'11 lol

Tallest I've dated is 6'5 🤣

Yessss short kings are always a vibe but they are still tall to me 🤣

Equal Pay Jay

Mar 10, 2026 01:32

I'm 9 giants tall

LISfan1

Mar 10, 2026 05:49

I’ve been using this site for years and I still haven’t figured that out. The main reasons girls don’t like me is because I’m overweight and I’m autistic.

🧜🏻‍♀️_Siren_🧜🏻‍♀️

Mar 11, 2026 00:03

It won't be the autism, there is a Posse of spectrum around these parts

Dr. Sus

Mar 12, 2026 19:54

Here's a question, I wonder how many women would date a tall guy with a small d**k.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

Mar 12, 2026 21:27

Probably the same number who would date a short guy with a large d**k

Mercurius Mesmerize

Mar 12, 2026 22:29

Is it only in perspective to their height though?