DRAGON_OF_DARK_DESIRES

𝐌𝐲 𝐅𝐁: Magus Draconis

𝔓𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔢 𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔟𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔞 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔫𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔪𝔢 𝔳𝔦𝔞 𝔪𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔞𝔤𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔟𝔢𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔢 𝔰𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞 𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔡 𝔯𝔢𝔮𝔲𝔢𝔰𝔱.

* Come As You Are *

Hi! I am Emil. And yes, all the folklore legends you’ve heard about me are true. My spiritual journey is that of a Grail Knight, seeking the Holy Grail of clarity, purpose, self-mastery, and the truths that illuminate the soul. I pursue what strengthens mind, heart, body, and spirit, and move away from what diminishes them.

Some say it’s not s*xy to bring mathematics and philosophy to a dating profile, but I disagree. On my journey, I’ve realized that Truth is the balance of Love, Power, and Knowledge—each one reinforcing the others. If one is lacking, the others guide how I act, choose, and grow.

Defining myself is a challenge, because the sense of limitation hovers over me whenever I try. If I say I am X, it feels like I immediately deny Y or Z. Over the years, I unconsciously created identities that didn’t serve me, keeping me from my true potential. Now, I am breaking free from those constraints and slowly reclaiming my power.

While I am constantly evolving—a mutable, ever-changing being—I can offer a glimpse of who I am. Through that glimpse, I hope to find my twin soul, my solar maiden.

Imagine an amplifier set to the maximum: an overthinker, a hyper-sensitive, and highly passionate soul, combating waves of a stormy ocean, eruptions of a raging volcano, and the howling winds of a sweeping tornado all at once. This is what I deal with internally on a day-to-day basis. I’ve learned most people cannot handle this intensity, so I keep it mostly within, presenting a gentle smile to the world and carrying hope quietly, without being a burden.

My mind naturally resonates with Aristotle’s vision of God: a perfect intellect, contemplating itself and seeking to radiate love and perfection into the world. Contemplating the nature of reality, the mind, and mastering its laws and principles, is not just my passion; it is my nature. I do this to manifest the best life for myself and transform from a passive spectator into an active creator.

I carefully track where my attention flows, so the experiences and insights I gather actively advance me toward my goals. As my awareness and consciousness grow, my focus naturally shifts from what diminishes me to what empowers. I also contemplate my true essence from a non-dual perspective, which allows me to see my true nature beyond the distractions and desires of the material plane.

At first glance, I might seem lost in thought, yet it’s because my passion for life is vast. Much of my energy lives in imagination and reflection, exploring ideas, visions, and possibilities. Part of my path is to bring these inner worlds into action—transforming thought into creation, and vision into reality.

Some of my passions include Philosophy, Depth Psychology, Mathematics, and the study of the mind. I’m deeply drawn to the Occult, Esoteric Sciences, Magick, and Mysticism, and I dedicate time to self-realization through reading, writing, and creative expression. Though I stay away from established religions in their current form, I have a great interest in theology and understanding the esoteric side of these religions.

I’m also exploring drawing, guitar, reconnecting with my body through movement and self-care, and seeking to immerse myself in nature through hiking or gardening. Travel—both inward and outward—is important to me, as is experiencing the divine and deepening my connection with the source of all things. I work on creating content for my YouTube channel and hope it will succeed.

Lately, I have started studying programming in hopes of gaining a practical skill. I do not know if it will last, as my heart is drawn to the mysteries of life. My main project right now is writing a book about the Fool’s journey as the soul’s journey, exploring the steps of awakening, transformation, and self-realization.

Emotionally, I am deeply empathetic and intuitive. I can connect with others easily, sensing their emotional states even when I do not find the words to express what I sense. I am a gentle soul with a dark side and would love to meet an equal partner with the same light and depth.

I’m deeply drawn to nature and the Sun, and dream of living in a village or mountains where the Sun’s light bathes me daily. For me, the Sun is not only the source of Light, Life, Healing, and Knowledge, but for some weird reason, it feels like my home. I’ve journeyed through the underworld, through cavernous darkness, and am now climbing back to the surface to meet the hidden Sun within.

I feel like a Solar Magus and would love it if my wife were a Solar Priestess.

My spiritual path is Sun-centered, rational, luminous, and experiential. I draw from the wisdom of ancient mystery traditions—Neoplatonism, Illuminism, Platonism, Mithraism, Gnosticism, Hermeticism, Zoroastrianism, Animism, Shamanism, Hindu Shaivism, Neidan, Esoteric Buddhism, Tantra, Zen, and the Pagan roots of the world’s great religions. I pursue clarity, insight, and self-mastery over blind faith.

My music reflects the extremes of my soul—divine classical Solar Opera on one end, and dark, Satanic Black Metal on the other. Little exists between (Maybe Katy Perry). I’d love to meet a partner who can move effortlessly between these worlds, harmonizing light and shadow without feeling agitated.

My sexual nature is similar to my musical taste, and, in fact, stretches upon a quadrant spectrum of two axes. The first axis stretches from either complete immersion in sexuality to complete abstinence from s*x (depending on whether I intuit lack of intimacy and love or not. Whenever I feel my partner is naked physically but clothed emotionally or spiritually from me, I do not want to have s*x with her. Likewise, if I am being emotionally or spiritually naked and am shunned for this, it feels like I am being mocked for my vulnerable, naked, intimate self.)

The second axis is within sexuality itself: I can be either very gentle, soft, virgin-like, angel-like in sexuality, preferring softcore, kissing, gentle touch, and childlike approach to sexuality (by childlike I mean virgin and pure), or I can become a complete demon, dark, satanic, dirty, bizarre, unrestrained, animalistic, complete and total surrender, blood, piss, s**t, everything—no limitation between me and my beloved. The two must become one!

I understand that it is a shock and will remove 99% of readers, but I think both the Angel and Demon must have their places in me. Connection, vulnerability, love, and trust are the gateways to this depth. Naturally, I would not like a life partner with whom half of me must remain suppressed. I would love to dedicate myself wholly and completely to one woman and receive the same in return.

All the dualities and contradictions you’ve noticed so far come from my intense Gemini energy (I follow Sidereal Astrology).

Lastly, I’m not the archetypal ‘Divine Masculine’ man many seek, nor do I pretend to be perfect, happy, or have it all together. I know we are all on journeys toward our deepest selves, and I embrace that fully. I want a partner who resonates with me, someone to walk this path side by side. I dream of a woman who could become my wife, sharing life’s ups and downs, its beauty and challenges, never leaving when it gets hard, but letting every trial deepen our love, vulnerability, and nobility. Together, I want us to grow, age, and look back at our journey with gratitude for all we’ve shared and become. What I seek is not a perfect woman but a woman who is perfect for me. Love is tested when things get hard, not when everything is rosy, perfect, and shiny.

After a lifetime of facing challenges, I’m ready to open fully to a woman who chooses me completely—with heart, mind, body, and soul—and shares a deep, conscious partnership.

What I really don´t like

I don't like inequality and people who think they are better than others. I don't like narcissists and psychopaths, and close-minded people. I don't like liars, cheaters, traitors, and people who harm other people or animals. Despite living in Israel, I don't like Jews.

What I would like to find here

I’m seeking a woman with whom I can feel safe enough to break apart and reassemble myself. After a lifetime of inner and outer battles, I long for a presence that transforms my inner volcano into tranquil waters where fishes are reflected in their clarity with treasures and lake stones of solid ideas and manifestations.

Trust is perhaps the most difficult thing for me to develop: in myself, in the universe, in a partner. Whenever I do, the universe crashes it and returns me to the starting point. In essence, I am perfect, yet this perfection does not feel realized in me. In essence, both the divine masculine and feminine in me dance a wedding waltz, as seen by none other than the birds in the sky and on the trees, providing a melody of life; yet, in reality, there is a lot of chaos and defeat.

Love for me is finding the perfection in the imperfection, where we are each other’s canvas to paint the most beautiful painting that we can.

In a committed, monogamous relationship, I approach s*x with openness—rooted in love, trust, and curiosity to explore together.

Everything is quite dual for me, the boy who wants to become a man, and the man who wants to become a boy. Masculine fire burning and feminine water crashing with its waves. Who am I? We will find out together, in each other’s embrace.

Loyalty, faithfulness, sacred love, honesty, honor, glory, and open-mindedness are the traits I value most in a relationship. Surely there are many more for us to explore.

If you feel touched by these words, and something resonates in you, if you feel that you are facing a masculine version of you, the kindred soul you have been searching for, if you can hear the symphony already, smell the sweaty mixture of both of us, and taste each other. If you can already feel skin touching skin and two hearts engulfed in a divine fire, beating as one, approach me.

How to approach me:

Naked and on your knees. But if that doesn’t work, then send me a message stating your class and race, along with a detailed list of 13 attacks—the 13th being your Ultimate. Make sure these are actual skills you possess, presented in a fantasy manner.

For instance, here is mine:

Solar Dragon Magician:

1. Ember Perception – I detect subtle shifts in tone, micro-expressions, and the energy within a room. I gather valuable data from the target, allowing me to construct a detailed profile of their strengths, weaknesses, motives, and more through sharpened observation and attention.
2. Flame Breath – Short bursts of decisive action, expressed through impulsive moves, initiating interactions, or delivering a sharp, witty reply.
3. Solar Reconstruction – In moments of awareness, I correct my posture to signal control, dominance, and calm, pulling myself out of mental loops. This is combined with a steady, fiery gaze and slow, deliberate movements.
4. Fire Gaze – I maintain eye contact without tension, projecting both presence and analytical awareness of the target.
5. Heat Field – I charge myself with emotional intensity, amplifying feelings of confidence, groundedness, love, warmth, security, and harmony.
6. Scorching Scream – My speech becomes sharp, impactful, bold, and authoritative, burning through ignorance with clarity and force.
7. Solar Clarity – I cut through confusion and eliminate mental noise that does not serve me. Though it requires significant energy, it sharpens my awareness like a blazing blade.
8. Flame Channeling – I enter a state of hyper-focus on a single objective, excluding all distractions.
9. Infernal Transmutation – I take lower impulses—anger, fear, lust—and burn them within my inner fire, converting them into refined, usable energy.
10. Solar Aura – I surround myself with a confident, radiant presence, feeling grounded, connected, and naturally magnetic to those around me.
11. Dragon’s Will – I act with unwavering determination, disregarding fear, mood, or doubt. I stop overthinking and execute.
12. Helios’ Expansion Field – I cultivate a commanding presence that influences others to align with my direction, often feeling empowered and elevated in doing so.
13. Solar Singularity – My ultimate state. My awareness is fully expanded into heightened consciousness. My attention is locked, my emotions are elevated and directed by my will, my actions are precise, and my identity is regal and radiant.

A piece of poetry of mine:

𝕾𝖚𝖓 𝕰𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖗 - 𝕬𝖜𝖆𝖐𝖊𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕾𝖚𝖓 𝕲𝖔𝖉 (𝖒𝖞 𝖕𝖔𝖊𝖙𝖗𝖞)

In this glorious night, there is no Darkness.
As only the Pleroma bursts in my mind
The neurons spark like bursting stars
And the Aether flows, freedom unbound
Serpent wraps my heart as a fruit on a branch
Sacred protector of this flaming grail, Profound

The secrets of Time rise from the tidal depths once more
And the ancient wisdom of the old masters swaying my core
For it is precisely when my eyes are closed,
That I see Life Majestic and Divine
In this purity of Mind's Oblivion
There is no I anymore...
My eyes are wide shut, Observing, Overlooking
And here I am, witnessing, as I see it all.

The biggest pain of being nothing
Is the greatest liberator of my soul

The cognitive faculties of my existence
Are the ancient formulaes of God behold
Calculations and equations
A philosophical Warrior, subsistence

The fires of Hell are now extinguished
Transmuted into the ancient Light of Pink, Scarlet, and Gold
Greatest Dragon of my immemorial soul
Now I finally shine forevermore

The birds are singing my awakening
Their flight heralds my coming birth
All will know, Illumination
From East and West, South and North

The winds carry my chariot to the First Sun
Led by the four riders of the Apocalypse
United in Pain, United in Love
United when two, United as One
Oh blessed be all that shineth
The emanations of my soul, a bursting ancient star

And in the Gloom and beauty of Love Eternal
Where two lovers shall become one
The Sun God sits on his throne
Forsaken Dragon of Light and Fire
As the Moon Goddess Crawls on Four in a Romantic Moan

And in one final Orgasm of Blood, Piss, and s**t
The Story Ends.

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"𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘋𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭." - 𝘑𝘶𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘒𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘸𝘢

"𝘈 𝘋𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘰𝘯'𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘦𝘭𝘺, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘭." - 𝘚.𝘎 𝘙𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘴