LaeLi

May 17, 2025 05:10

this is in regards to the person who sends the first dm and u open it but don’t bother replying that they arnt your type.

Midnight Ruffles

May 17, 2025 05:13

Hmmm 🤔 is this a question? or a forum discussion? or just a statement to air your grievances? If you want a discussion I think you might need to add more context. So we can help you, give our different perspectives or participate. I think where getting a lot of these lately.

LaeLi

May 17, 2025 05:25

it’s me telling people to grow up and also me asking if anyone else is tired of people doing this

LaeLi

May 17, 2025 05:26

i also made sure i didn’t break the post guidelines

Midnight Ruffles

May 17, 2025 05:30

Okay so your other message on the actual thread, added more context. Hmmm I think people can read your first message to them, & not reply. I've done that, & that's happened to me also. I don't think that's a big deal. It's obvious there not interested. Perhaps that's an extra sensitivity for you. Or perhaps I'm a little insensitive & not prone to following all social etiquette, but I would think a non reply, speaks for itself.

Admittedly in the past. I've chatted to others online, for some time, & just stopped talking to them, because I've seen what I believed we're red flags, perhaps they thought i was ghosting, I thought I was keeping myself safe, but maybe I was being a low level coward at the time, scared of the confrontation, especially since I think they presented with what I thought was red flags. If I had to do it again now, being a better communicator I should of just said I'm not interested in any form of connection any more.
If that's a form of ghosting?

Otherwise I wouldn't just start seeing someone in a relationship, or going on dates & just disappear or ghost, unless I thought my safety was at serious risk.

LaeLi

May 17, 2025 05:45

if you are not aware. there are LOADS of people who say leaving people on read is just tacky and rude and a big red flag so it’s not just me. it makes you look like a prick that you can’t take one second to type “not for me” i mean to read the dm you have to open it and you are saying that person isn’t even worth max 5 seconds of your time is selfish.

LaeLi

May 17, 2025 05:46

not @ing you in my reply but people in general

Midnight Ruffles

May 17, 2025 05:49

To be clear when I say red flag I use it in the context it was intended, signs of being abusive, since I've been in an abusive relationship in the past. I'm not talking some mild form of social etiquette has been broken.


Do you think you avoid being rude, & following all social etiquette, do you hold yourself to the same standard?

Midnight Ruffles

May 17, 2025 05:51

Btw I don't use red flag as a small social etiquette broken or an Icky or a personal turn off.

Midnight Ruffles

May 17, 2025 05:53

LOADs of people, did you do a altscene pole?

LaeLi

May 17, 2025 06:00

red flag can be use for any red flags as ooo that’s a red flag they have
it’s not just for abuse and stuff
if someone is rude to u or tries to be intimate on the first post that is a red flag

Midnight Ruffles

May 17, 2025 06:02

Look I guess will have to agree to disagree. I don't get hurt by people not responding to my first message & left on read. I believe they've pretty much said there not interested. No big deal for me. Move on.

If it's rude for you & means a lot to you, & your values, sensitivities or whatever, then you dodged a bullet I guess. At least there not wasting your time.

LaeLi

May 17, 2025 06:03

and i mean loads of people be it here of OFF of the site like if u ask reddit people will say leaving others on read is a texting nono either man up and tell them, or block and go

LaeLi

May 17, 2025 06:08

we won’t ever see eye to eye so i wish you luck but i decided to block you and i assume it will be mutual