Stalker girl obsessed with the aliens, romance and glitter.
🕵️♀️ Boyfriend Application: For a Certified Cute Stalker Girl
(You are being watched… lovingly.)
📍 Current Location:
(For purely observational purposes. Not for GPS pinning… unless you make me.)
📱 Social Media Handles:
👁️ Are you someone who’s aware of your surroundings?
☐ Yes, very alert (boo)
☐ Sometimes…?
☐ No, I live in blissful oblivion (perfect)
🚶♂️ What mode of transportation do you use daily?
☐ Walking (💯 easy to follow)
☐ Bike (respectable, but fast)
☐ Car (ugh, effort)
☐ Skateboard (hipster, but manageable)
🏠 Do you live…
☐ On the ground floor (😍)
☐ Mid-level (I’ll find a way…)
☐ Penthouse (I hope you like rope climbing)
🔐 How secure is your home?
☐ Lots of windows
☐ Old locks
☐ Dog that sleeps on the job
☐ All of the above
(The correct answer is “dangerously accessible.”)
👩❤️👨 Any girl best friends?
☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ They come and go…
If they were to mysteriously vanish, how sad would you be? (1 = "who?", 10 = sobbing):
🗓️ What’s your daily schedule like? (For totally innocent reasons):
Wake-up time:
Usual lunch spots:
Gym? (Which one and when):
Bedtime (do you sleep well or wake up easily when someone’s near… hypothetically?)
📷 Do you post your location on stories?
☐ Yes, I like to live dangerously
☐ Sometimes…
☐ No, why are you asking?
🧠 What would you do if you found a hoodie of yours in a stranger’s apartment with your cologne on it?
☐ Call the cops
☐ Laugh and say “you’re crazy”
☐ Put it on and say “smells like fate”
📦 Would you accept mysterious gifts at your door with no return address?
☐ Yes, I love surprises
☐ No, I fear death
☐ Only if there’s snacks
🐾 Do you have pets? (Because I will win them over first)
☐ Dog
☐ Cat
☐ Reptile
☐ No, just plants (they’ll be my witnesses)
🎤 Final question: Are you emotionally available, or will I have to slowly and meticulously dismantle your current situationship until you’re mine?
☐ Emotionally available
☐ Kind of in something, but it’s fragile
☐ Try me
