Please read this, if you do not read it and send me a message anyways, I will not respond to you. I will not respond to you if you don't have a profile photo of yourself and don't have at the very least more than 3 pictures of what you look like. I will also not respond to you if you send me a one word message, please start a genuine conversation. If you don't know what to start with, let's talk about art, crystals, Yu-Gi-Oh cards, movies, music and or the occult.
I'm an artist with a failing motivation for creating art. My depression has been pretty bad since 2016. I used to be able to draw anywhere between 30 to 55 actual artistries vs just sketches per year. Since 2016, I've only been able to draw a few times each year. Now I only make anywhere between 7 to 20 artistries in said years. It kind of hurts, cause art really is a passion of mine. I actually create a lot less now ever since my grandmother passed away in 2021 from cancer. She was literally my best friend and a second mother to me. I was raised by her and my mom, no father, no older siblings, just them. She had literally just turned 69, was diagnosed with cancer on HER birthday and passed away 2 months later. I miss her tremendously every single day. My depression worsened since then as well... If that wasn't obvious by what I was saying. To make matters worse, I feel as though I'm letting her down, disappointing her. One of her wishes was that I would continue my passion and become someone big for it. I feel as though I'm not living up to her dreams for me because I'm barely able to create anything anymore. I actually went an entire year or two without creating anything.
To say what kind of artist I am, I'm a mixed media traditional artist. I work with paper and my mediums are led pencils, colored pencils, gel pens, markers, paint markers and nail polish... Yeah, I use nail polish in my works quite often. I only ever so occasionally try out digital art when I'm able to. I've only tried digital art a couple of times when I had a good art app to use. And no, I have never tried anything on a drawing tablet even though I would like to. I can't afford one in this economy with the sh*t pay that I make.
I'm an Eclectic Witch and an Omnist. Please, if you don't know what those are, look them up. I mainly work with crystals/gemstones/minerals (✨rocks✨). Though I do work with other crafts/magics.
I've never been in a romantic relationship before. I'm still a virgin and all that it implies. I've never even had my first kiss. There are so many reasons as to why, but there are two very big and very main and important reasons. First, I'm a demisexual. Again, if this is something you don't know of, look it up please. And secondly, I believe in true love and soulmates. So I'm saying that I still have yet to meet the right one. Also, just to let everyone know, *I'M STRICTLY LOOKING FOR JUST FRIENDS.*
My interests and hobbies consist of: Art; Drawing; Making Jewelry; Photography; Listening to Music; Singing; Kpop (specifically Taemin); Writing Stories and Poems; Collecting Gemstones and all that this implies (I can literally go just about anywhere and if I spot a rock I think is pretty, I take it); Sleeping; Late Night Drives; Shopping (If and when I have the money to do so); Anything and Everything Witchy; Watching Anime; Reading Manga; Collecting pretty Yu-Gi-Oh cards (I have MANY, I collect for the artistries of the cards as well as specific characters and types of characters); Having Bonfires, Walking; The Supernatural and Extraterrestrial (the occult); Burning Sage and Incense; Being with Loved ones.
I have PCOS, one of the more serious kinds at that. Mine, causes me to have acne, red blotches, excessive body hair, thinning of head hair, gain and retain weight AND I've been to the hospital numerous times due to the cyst's on my ovaries rupturing. It causes a lot of immense pain that lasts for weeks. PCOS causes me tremendous frustration and can be overwhelming at times. By the way, I hardly ever put makeup on, I literally will only get dolled up for self portraits (if I feel decent enough) and for special occasions such as to celebrate Samhain (again, if I feel decent enough).
I'm neurodivergent. I have ADHD, OCD, most likely have Autism, just haven't been diagnosed with it yet. Did you know that most of the female population that actually has Autism, won't be diagnosed with it until their well into adulthood if at all? Like 30's - 40's and even in their 50's. It's because autism appears differently in males than in females. I'm a maladaptive daydreamer and I have Misophonia. If you still haven't gotten the picture, I have chronic crippling depression, anxiety (has completely switched over to stress. Am VERY stressed) and chronic pain. I have a learning disability. SLD. Specific Learning Disability. I'm a phonetic speller and I have slight dyslexia, so I'm sorry if I spell something wrong. The thing I'm worst at is math. I'm absolutely horrific when it comes to anything further than basic math. And even then, some basic math is still very much tricky for me. Math is something that my brain just can't comprehend.
F.Y.I.
Respect goes a long way. So note that if you do not respect me, I will not respect you.
Thank you for reading this, I greatly appreciate it.
