Single white male, 44. I've got two tickets to see the Saturday night Ink N Iron Festival punk rock concert and I want a good-looking punk rock chick to go with me. Let's get on the crazy train and blow everything off and dig IGGY AND THE f**kIN' STOOGES!! And on top of that, I'm a celebrity. I used to to perform under the name "Janor Hypercleets" and I'm one of the creators of the "Church of the Subgenius" and I'm the inventor of the "Bleeding Head of Arnold Palmer Launcher's Soiciety".