i used feel so free. now i swim in a black oblivion. i used to be spontanius as hell. now im a dead man wlking. about a half a year ago i got this sucking feeling in my brain. you know the kind of feelng that feels like you have a vacuum in your head? the doctors dont know what it is. it hurts. its sucking me dry. all i want to do is be with my friends (people who accept the rudness of this world. the only time im happy is when i am in love. without it, im a dark abyss. music is my life, it makes people feel good but i can hardly feel it becuase this sucking feeling is so strong. its hard for me to pay attention to music but i wont let that change my view of it. to be honest, id like to live with others in death (darkness,(or under the blacklight) and lonlyness). id love to meet you n.n add me only if your are kind or can help me.