I am ferociously loyal and shockingly original... I am a definate cure for boredom...
I have decided to grow up and not spend all of my money putting strippers or hookers through college.
I will not blow snot rockets right beside you believing myself to be invisible for those five seconds. I am not a slob, don't live in filth, collect egg cartons for any reason, or have a rat named Wanda.
I do not have the number to the local health unit stored in my phone or GPS navigator.
I do not have to notify the neighborhood through post card or newspaper everytime I move.
I don't call my mother at 11:11 every morning and night to make a wish together.
Have never caused a woman to have a hysterectomy.
Have never broken a womans tooth.
Will never cheated on my future wife with her sister or her mother, or both at the same damn time.
I don't believe someone who was raped "had it coming".
I am not only a good guy on Tuesdays or have to be heavily medicated to function right.
I don't have a hundred dollar bill tattooed on my penis.
And I don't pee sitting down or sh*t standing up..
