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ZELFDODENDE DROMEN

26 - Straight

Christchurch, New Zealand

May 26, 2018 03:42



Welcome, wont you step inside and follow the hollow

Why punish yourself like this?

but won't say you know you I I see looking hello

So who will follow? Who is the lead?

I know I'll leave a stain, because I bleed

As we dance, we all dance

We all... have no chance in this horrid romance

Will you kiss me the same when you taste my victim's blood?

I like it rough, id rather feel pain than nothing at all

Sometimes you have to roll the hard six

You, couldn't be, you couldn't be me even if you wanted to. Everything I've been through, you wouldn't know

If I winked it's only because you took my breath away

I'm getting better at being a disaster, watch them flock as they leave one by one. Not a word or a whisper, to dead to care there is no voice to protest. We don't need to bother, just another shadow cast behind you as you walk away unable to see the blood staining your hands. Maybe I should kill myself

I feel like this search has been all in vain as I struggle to find my way

I am also an avid gamer and horror film watcher
I'm ready for love, I'm tired of this war. It's not something I've said before
Yes im ready to be human, like everyone else I needed time to think it over
I'm up off my knees now, come face to face with this false god and said hello

It’s not you, it’s me
Cliché I know
I’ve written this time and time again and I’m sorry
I can’t imagine what you are thinking, truth be told
It hurts to even imagine what is running through your mind

I wish I could have said I was getting better
I’ve held on for so long but I’ll never be who I was
Suffocated by who I am and I’m sorry

All said and done, I hoped for the darkness to take me
If I could just find who I was, just for a moment
Maybe then this would have had a different outcome
If I could see your face again, I’d say I’m sorry

I’ve never been enough, to you or me
I’ve been here for a while, truth be told
It has taken the best of me and left me so empty

I never thought things would get this far
I’ll never know how it feels to be okay
Things were okay when the darkness took me

All said and done, I hoped for the darkness to take me
If I could just find who I was, just for a moment
Maybe then this would have had a different outcome
If I could see your face again, I’d say I’m sorry

I’ll miss her hands, smile, laugh and eyes
I don’t know if we’ll ever meet again
Sorry and I will miss you more than anything

It’s been these long years, beating me into the ground
I don’t need one more year of life’s abuse
This is my fate, smile because I was around

All said and done, I hoped for the darkness to take me
If I could just find who I was, just for a moment
Maybe then this would have had a different outcome
If I could see your face again, I’d say I’m sorry

I’m not worth it, everything is worthless
I can’t feel myself anymore
This shell of a man I once was, lost as a child and never to be reclaimed

It’s been interesting, my dear friends
I will never forget any of you
Cliché I know. It’s not you, it’s me



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Just kill me now and leave this withered husk to fade into dust



She said to me once "I wish you would just kill yourself, you're such a burden to me".
He said "I think I was nine when my mum drove me down to the deepest part of Baja California and she walks me up to an orphanage and she knocks on the door and the guy comes to the door and she says (I found this kid) and she left me there for ninety days until my grandmother could get out of her where she had dumped me. My grandmother can and rescued me.
My mum beat me every single day of my elementary school years. with things, you could imagine and a lot of things you couldn't, every day of my life my back was bloodied and scarred, in fact I had to wear three t-shirts to school each day. Firts t-shirt the blood would seep through and second t-shirt you could still see it, finally the third t-shirt you couldn't see any blood. Any kids iat the school they'd make fun of me, a fool, it's a hundred degrees, why are you wearing three t-shirts and then he stopped speaking, so overwhelmed with emotion and he seemed to be staring at a piece of his story that only he could see. When he could regain his speech she said through his tears (I wore three t-shirts well into my adult years because I was ashamed of my wounds) I didn't want anybody to see them but now I welcome my wounds, I run my hands over them. My scars are my friends"