AltScene

TIM86

35 - Straight

West Midlands, United Kingdom

Oct 15, 2021 23:34

I recently left this site but decided to re-join as life is too short to give up on things. I am, however, going to be as honest as I can this time around. This is going to be a long profile (you have been warned!) as I want to set out as much as I can so that there are no skeletons in the closet or nasty surprises further down the line. Then you can decide if you’d like to contact and chat or run for the hills! I no longer make the first move as I became somewhat bored with being blanked (despite putting thought and effort into messages) and felt like I was imposing on others who didn’t really want to chat so I came to the conclusion if people reached out to me then they’re actually interested in communications.

This part is the most personal thing I’ve ever put in a dating profile but I have to be open with my thoughts and feelings so anyone who dates me in the future is aware of my situation and what they’re getting themselves into. I’ve been single for many years now because it took me a long time to process my last breakup. I was with someone very special, whom I felt (and still sometimes do) was ‘the one’, someone with whom I had a connection I’d never had with anyone before and which I haven’t had since. I’d been in a few relationships before that but she was the only person I would say that I was actually ‘in love’ with. None of us really know what love is until it hits us but once it has none of us forget! The end of the relationship was circumstantial rather than anyone’s fault - I’m not going into it publicly but I have nothing to hide and am happy to talk about it in messages. It took me about 4 years to process the situation and not long after that there was another turn in the story which (again) I’m not going into here but which I’m happy to discuss privately. All I need to say here is that getting together with her again can never happen. I’m not bitter about how things didn’t work out as life is too short and we all go through things in life. I’m over the relationship but, as a person, she will always have a place in my heart and memories. I’m not seeking a ‘replacement’ as all of us as individuals are unique and irreplaceable. Anyone who I date in the future needs to understand that whilst I don’t wish to live in the past, I also don’t want to airbrush good memories out of existence. Anybody who has ever lost someone close will understand what I mean. There are still sometimes days when I miss her but I don’t let that rule my life. We all have different chapters of our lives. Those chapters make us into the people we are but experiences don’t have to consume or define us. Whether I will ever feel the same for another person remains to be seen but I’m not going to lock myself away, push away new people or deny the possibility.

Another important point is that I still live with my parents – that seems to be a massive dealbreaker for some people and if that’s the case with you and if you consider ‘being a homeowner’ of crucial importance to a person’s character then there’s no need to contact me. There’s a lot of preconceptions / misconceptions about people who still ‘live at home’. It doesn’t necessarily make a person lazy, a ‘mummy’s boy’ nor does it automatically mean they have no aims or prospects in life. In my case it’s because I didn’t see the point in living alone and pouring all my income into a high rent / the back pocket of a greedy landlord when I still have a good relationship with my family. That would mean not being able to save any money for the future and things like mortgage deposits, running a car etc. I lead my own independent life and pay my way within that arrangement and don’t depend on anybody - it works well and it suits all involved. If property and wealth are the most important things to you then kindly avoid my inbox please!

Now I’ve got the awkward parts out of the way (and if you’re not already put off) here’s a general bit about me. I like the simple things in life and see myself as a free spirited, open minded lover of music and the outdoors. I like a wide range of music but especially singer / songwriter / acoustic artists and classic rock of the old school variety (I was born into completely the wrong era!). I won’t list all my influences here as that’s another book in itself but am happy to discuss details in messages. I dabble in being a singer / songwriter (my debut album can be streamed on Bandcamp under the name ‘Tim Walkerdine’ and I’m currently home recording a follow up…) and look forward to when the lifting of lockdown allows me to play and watch gigs. Anyone who dates me must understand that music is something they must not expect me to give up as I feel a creative outlet is an important form of expression and ‘letting one’s hair down’. I’m not trying to ‘make it’ or become ‘the next big thing’ and I have a day job that I’m happy with but music is still something that brings me great joy and which has helped me through some of the darker times in my life. That’s reason enough to do it, I think. I also enjoy long walks, drives, gardening, books of all descriptions and more. I’m independently minded and an advocate / practitioner of individuality. I’m chilled out and a conscious avoider of life’s dramas and fast pace. I’m a down to earth realist and dislike materialism, selfishness and shallow, judgemental / narrow mindedness. As for the day job I run my own little garden maintenance business. I love the freedom of being self-employed, working outdoors in a stress-free job that brings me great satisfaction where the results of efforts can be seen. It’s nice to feel that my work is genuinely appreciated and I have a very healthy work / life balance.

Long term I would like to meet a companion in life who shares the same / similar values with whom I can share my interests and passions. Someone who understands my situation, who has maybe gone through the same / similar thing and also who understands the creative mind – if you’re a creative type too then even better but that’s not essential as long as you possess an open mind. I don’t want to rush or be pushed/ forced into anything serious straight away – just to meet and see how things develop over time. I don’t believe that I have to be in a relationship to be happy and content as l already am in many ways. I enjoy my own company and live a relatively fulfilled and active life but meeting someone special to share my life with would be a welcome enhancement of my happiness.

I have to say that I prefer actual messages to winks and just saying ‘Hi’ or ‘Hey’ doesn’t really give me a lot to work with! I do, however, understand that some people are shy about this kind of thing and I recognise that it can be hard to know exactly what to put in the first message. If you’re a little stuck on what to say literally just ask me about anything on my profile and I’ll happily reply with something relevant. I’m not a monster and I don’t go round biting people’s heads off lol. I see effort as a 2-way thing – I don’t chase people but I also don’t expect to be chased. I’m a great believer in everything being equal as far as possible. I’m relatively good natured and easy going but I won’t let people abuse or take advantage of that. If you’re the kind of person that enjoys ‘testing’ people to see how far they can be pushed please kindly avoid my inbox as if I feel or sense something isn’t quite right then I will cease communications. Mind games aren't really my thing I'm afraid. Also if you're the kind of person who habitually 'ghosts' people on these sites when 'a better offer' comes along then please be aware that I make a point of blocking people who I haven't heard from in more than 7 days (that's a promise!) - I'm aware that we all have busy lives and although I don't expect 24 hour communication I think a week is enough time to reply for anyone who's actually interested in keeping in touch!

Fake profiles that message me with links to external websites or that immediately ask for my number to send me spam will be blocked and reported 😊

Thanks for reading / enduring my profile – if you’ve made it this far you deserve a medal (!). If what I’ve written has struck a chord (no musical pun intended!) and I sound like someone you may get along with then I’d love to hear from you. If not then thanks again for taking a look at my profile and I wish you all the best with your search on here. Best wishes, Tim

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