I want love. I want to experience love in its most pure form. I want, more then anything on this beautiful planet, to know someone beyond my knowledge of myself. To have someone to share the experience this life as I do. Share our perspective on the most intimate level. To have someone crawl inside my twisted, fragile mind to comfort and understand me and all my strange actions and thoughts and love them even if they're beyond any sort of rationality. I want some one to help me build myself into the best possible human I could be. To give me confidence, to give me criticism to correct my issues, to free me from the grasp that takes my energy an distorts it into some sort of lost wandering soul. I need someone. I feel incomplete and disturbed and as time moves on without experiencing the whole reason why I'm here, I move further into the abstract.
What I want in a female is her to love me as much as I love her. A free spirit with actions just as odd as mine. And has some sort of similar beliefs. With a girl with her own perception and her own thoughts and feelings and defends them if she truly believes but with intelligence to understand the opinion of another. But something's wrong. I seem to have lost something growing up in my troubled life. A dark energy perhaps took my ability to truly connect with people. I know many have said this a million times before but I feel different then most. But not like a disease or any sort of negativity. But more of a power or influence. There is something deep inside me that has the ability to control peoples emotions. When I'm happy I can make others feel what I feel with an intensity like how life should be. I have an energy that captures peoples attention an draws them in and I lift them up to my level...or at least that's what I've seen.
But as time moves on I feel myself spiraling down into a sheltered secluded existence. Further separating myself from the rest of humanity. I can sense it. And it scares me. Sadly I get some sort of pathetic enjoyment out of it. Its my special sanctum of insanity. Developing my own disturbed thoughts and fading away from the thought of sharing my soul with another.
I believe that if I could find a female that could ever possibly understand and love me and all my flaws, I would thrive in this existence with a purpose, a goal, and the ability to truly live life. My influence and energy would spread and breath light into the hearts of the world.
But I digress, there is a darkness, a perverted energy that I can sense creeping up in my soul. A shadow self that wishes to watch the world destroy itself. Watch the world react to the negativity and torment. Hiding in the darkness, my pathetic hole. Wasting the gift I've been given to affect people in a positive way.
But me...about me...I've felt the energy of the collective. Its pure and strong and absolutely positive. Its influence is powerful and precious. I've felt what I believe is a fraction of what love is. And I've realized I want that. I need that. I need love. It's the energy that fuels. It's the passion that drives. And it's the reason for life. I've never felt true love and haven't even come close with another person. I don't know how. And I can't fake it. Hopefully somebody will show me.
Ask anything about me. I'll be completely honest cause I don't see a point in lying...But if I'm vague or being weird it doesn't mean I don't like you, it just means I feel like being a goober at that particular moment ...My emotions are sporadic and confusing. I'm learning to control them but sometimes it's out of my hands. I'm self absorbed but not selfish. There's a difference. and I'll most likely delete this 'about me' in a week or so cause I'll get a weird feeling.
Happy smiles every one!!!! LOVE AND HAPPINESS TO ALL!!!! SMILES TO YOU
))):)):) 
