Looking for a tall, dark, and handsome guy.
Ladies, just about all kinds.
Hello there!
I’m Chelsea, from Tulsa, born in 1991. I have a degree in Human and Family Sciences and Creative Writing. I’m an adjunct professor teaching Composition. I attended DePaul University for my Masters in Writing and Publishing. She/Her, but probably an alien or some kind of cryptid. I hang out with my grandpa more than my friends. I’m broadly European (Swedish, German, and Scottish) but with enough Muscogee-Creek to count. My fourth great-grandpa was Tustunnuggee Hutke/Chief McIntosh (sorry). I’m also a member of the Dracula Society! I’m not crazy about kids but I adore my niblings Dalton, Silas, and Rosalind. I'll likely want to adopt an older kid (like 8 or so) when I'm financially stable. I don't want my own kids. I don't do babies and pregnancy and toddlers. My dream in life is to be a published author and to live off of my writing. However, the real-world goal is to become a Creative Writing professor. I'm straight edge, so I don't drink or smoke. Preferably my match is too but I'm 420 indifferent and don't mind alcohol usage, both in moderation. No cigarette smokers. I'm asthmatic. I'm a bigger girl but I also enjoy walks, bike riding, horseback riding, and fencing.
I’m an Okie girl, born and raised. Tulsa is my home! I was raised on a bass boat, in the rodeo, and on the 90’s country style. Granddaughter to farmers, a beach bum and a cowboy, daughter to a witch, and a good ole boy. I’m a bit of a Stevie and a Wednesday with my Grandpa’s ACRA belt buckle. I’ve got dishwater hair and lake water eyes. If I’m not here, I’m in Galveston or New Orleans. Twister is the movie that comforts me when I’m homesick. My musical tastes range from George Strait and Garth Brooks to Lady Gaga and Stevie Nicks to Ghost and Green Day. I love reading and writing. I’m an absolute idiot for animals. I love cats, dogs, birds, reptiles, bugs, horses, whatever! I hate Trump and everything he stands for. I grew up during the MySpace Emo era. I love Halloween and dark and eerie. My kind of beautiful day is a grey sky. I'm a practicing, second-generation witch. I believe in death positivity. I love going to the movies, concerts, and shows. Dinner and the aquarium or the zoo is the perfect date for me. Sorry, I have the palette of a twelve-year-old. My love language is acts of service. I used to be a paranormal investigator. Stopped because it was a lot of work. My family still does it. I am currently a certified MUFON Field Investigator!
I'm looking for someone who is intelligent and can make me laugh. Must have a good job and goals in life with a degree. Probably around 30-33, but if we vibe, we vibe. Must be a clean and neat person. Bonus points if you look like Snape (Must be Pro-Snape!), Dracula/Alucard (Hellsing version)/Vlad Tepes, a witch, warlock, or vampire (I abhor Twilight). I'm okay with long-distance relationships if it means I get who I love in the end. Nice hair is my favorite feature of a partner. No clear pictures of yourself, no message.
I like: What We Do In The Shadows, Assassination Classroom, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Hellsing, American Mary, body horror, The Soska Sisters, Repo! The Genetic Opera, DBZ, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Crow, The Craft, Practical Magic, anything about vampire mythos, Poe, IT, Stephen King, Tim Burton, and V for Vendetta.
I have five pets, in order of age and adoption:
Salem Pluto - Our little black cat! Has the personality of Wednesday Addams.
Gomez Morticia - A fat grey tabby. Basically Homer Simpson.
Yogurt Berenstein III - The three-legged Dutch Shepard! He was a stray who needed his leg amputated, but he’s healthy and happy now! If Buddy the Elf were a dog…We just call him Yogi Bear! He’s the third because he’s a lot!
Two aquatic snails named Terrence and Gumball, several clutches of eggs from them. All they do is screw and pole dance on their water thermometer.
