Gothic Deathrocker.....loner....by nature inwardly...spiraled by eventually....i start t slowly extend with small circles of people...tho hate being stuck in crowds and many people...whenst soulmate seems found i become bonded and protective..almost by need...tho feels of late impossible to even find the old spaces filled wihin loss is even harder to understand...so like beginning tend to stay of sorts in that kinda self ******...seemingly made by others..if id ever did find what i lost id be more than protective caring and loyal...i collect all sorts of intrically bizarre and beautiful in times eye fossils....some people can see...most cant...thier is sometimes even a intricate layer of energies left in that somehow i move around and see just a tiny bit further..most realties are sorta made of this kinda weave tho like artwork or famous era pices the really strong stones hold back and give forth..ill stop but is a big *****e' of mine....asides collect....really old photo books...occult books....any books to do with or by drug iduced use or authors...gothic is a good movie example of such...with shelly...byron.and a dr. who use a eve spent together to create thier writing firsts fame wise and did so while drinking much liquid opium...i really hate television even makeing small vow to never watch ever...and thus far the only way is to force me too...i draw...a bit but is mostly small tattoo pieces or scritchy black on white paper lucidly...i really like to write a bit and just lost focus in such from a past...love so slowly am starting that sense to open again tho tends to be hard to understand inner reflections and views esotericly of the sorta unbound sense of later movements in my minds eye to wierd fragment structure like poems sorta in vague ways like nivek ogres songs just in structure with the choppy yet strong logic sorta flow unbending but very warped at times tho makes my mind see better when find pices ive tottally forgoten amongst the s**t of modern today..anyso hope to find a dark writer maybe who even goes further than i...i tend to find beauty in dark intricate inmperfection...s..or what another would call mar or ugly....like a intricate rose or inner secret gardens or sanctum...sometimes i forget if im seen as such tho oft ignore....id ran from home at around 16 and a half to only get caught up in things seemingly expected or from my angle naught at all...and luckily found something in ways of my nature in a smaller scene in ny...or rochester..tho many moons ago...moved from there to here sf and bay area..and have traveled exstensivley throughout the us..so if wonder of a partuicular city id maybe have a view or story and suchh tho always end up back here..i might just go one way to somewhere in europe like germany austria or maybe copehagen...or london with intention of naught returning....as tire of lies and sociatels impulse to thier very breathes movement in such pace that seemed they lost track of the incentive even...what ever such never was..in decided ways...and just know would be lost in another language and space...before that would seem funny..maybe...to understand...i love oceans at night...sleeping late or close to eleven....wandering thru abandonned areas and buildings industrial and also cemetaries...want to try and get a more creative grip on such thru photography....incence....candlelight or dark shadowy yet sharp and clear upon the walls or such...warm bathes and warm air....forrests at night or day...moonlight...dark clothing...most music...that clealrly defines self possesiveness to the art and intricate compistion...from small operettas..classical solo instruments piano violin viola voice...rivethead...aggrotech...some dark almost gothic punk old school goth bands...and a lot of industrial...some sense heightners...drugs....black and white photos and long alleyways...will halt here with enough words to sorta give way too...
