― Jack Kerouac, On the Road
Before you ask I will respond with a preemptive answer yes my real name is Belladonna Eve Lamorte. I have recently moved from Portsmouth back to my home town in Aylesbury. Seeking friendships with some like minded cool individuals that like a drink have a dark side and are most importantly interesting but not serial killer material.
I am a Jim Morisson obsessive so if you do not like Jim then do not even bother me
I would like to live in a Hammer horror movie and adore picnics in graveyards.I am a Published Author, I have a BA(HONS) English and Creative Writing Studying for my masters,I have had many incarnations a former Apprentice Chocolatier and Patisserie chef and first and foremost a Writer. I am defiant, ruthless, radical, mercurial, satirical as changeable as quick silver with a steely determination.One could say that I have experienced life and in all aspects drunk very deeply from my cup.
If still waters run deep, then my reservoir is bottomless. An archetypal wise woman, mystic and visionary that knows what I want out of this life and how to achieve it.
I have found myself subscribed to both schools of excess and moderation. Well in order to have found my balance I have had to have swung extremely to find my way.
I consider myself a very deep, creative and intelligent soul. A realist yet a romantic I believe there is more to life then just mere existence and the pursuit of material gain. I have a passion to experience all the highs and lows just nothing in between. I am intrigued by duality, contraries and negations.
A old soul, highly intuitive, very sensitive and strong willed. I am very passionate about my art. My art form is expressed in words so naturally I am a poetess. This ability stems from my Berber roots(a mysterious,deep and spiritual race) the Berbers relied on the oral tradition of story telling preserving the precious history and rites.
As a writer words to me are as a platform they preach,inspire and inflame the temperament .A writer is a agent of change it is our responsibility to be a voice for the voiceless and to expose what is hidden and to magnify issues which need to be altered.
I am ethnically Moroccan half Riffian Berber and Arabic deeply passionate and proud of my ancestry. Although I am British born and have more in common with English culture. I am a feminine,feminist and I believe in equality that every man has a sovereign will and should have the freedom to do as they please as long as it causes no harm or entrenches upon another persons human right!
I consider myself fiercely intelligent ,independent and one that goes against the grain. I am very strong in nature and perhaps too curious. I believe in experience that pleasure and pain should be tasted fully
I am a very intricate person. I have many facets which I show depending on which light! Yet one passion that governs me most is the need to be creative or inwardly I die. Ever the suffering artist !To me an artist has the ability to make something beautiful in this often ugly world to make what is corruptible infinite. This is alchemy in taking the base things of this world and transforming it into something that moves the masses.
I am highly cultured devoted to great literature and the arts and have a deep appreciation of spirituality and the seen and the unseen world. I am very in tune with nature I love to follow the cycles of life the seasons,the moon the tides.
I have a very international family from Morocco to Paris, Japan, Most countries in Europe ,far east and the states and the Middle East.This has instilled in me a passion for different cultures and an appreciation for travel as I am a restless nomadic and hippy like soul
I get bored very easy but do not mistake me for being shallow! I believe that life should be lived incessantly.That life is to be lived and not just existed through.
Music is my greatest passion! I adore Jim Morrison God must forgive me for my idolatry because quite simply he is my god and I am sure I am haunted by his ghost.My other idols are William Blake, Edgar Allen Poe,Vincent Van Gogh I have a kinship with eccentrics.
I do not give my friendship very easily yet when I do I would love you with my whole heart
FAVOURITE QUOTES
“A star falls from the sky and into your hands. Then it seeps through your veins and swims inside your blood and becomes every part of you. And then you have to put it back into the sky. And it's the most painful thing you'll ever have to do and that you've ever done. But what's yours is yours. Whether it’s up in the sky or here in your hands. And one day, it'll fall from the sky and hit you in the head real hard and that time, you won't have to put it back in the sky again.”
― C. JoyBell C.
"A pretty authoress is an offence, -an incongruity, - a something that neither men nor women care about.
Men don't care because being clever and independent,she does not care about them, - a women don't care about her, because she has the effrontery to combine attractive looks with intelligence, and she makes an awkward rival to those who have only attractive looks without intelligence. So wags the world!"
Marie Corelli The Sorrows of Satan
“You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray
"I see myself as an intelligent,sensitive human,with the soul of a clown.Which forces me to blow it at the most important moments". Jim Morrison
One has to pay dearly for immortality; one has to die several times while one is still alive. Aldlous Huxley
Written on the body is a secret code only visible in certain lights. The accumulations of a lifetime gather there. In places the palimpsest is so heavily worked that the letters feel like braille. I like to keep my body rolled up away from prying eyes .Never unfold too much, or tell the whole story. Tori Amos
The tree which moves some to tears of joy is in the eyes of others only a green thing that stands in the way. Some see nature all ridicule and deformity... and some scarce see nature at all. But to the eyes of the man of imagination, nature is imagination itself.
William Blake
“That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is. Most people love you for who you pretend to be. To keep their love, you keep pretending - performing. You get to love your pretence. It's true, we're locked in an image, an act - and the sad thing is, people get so used to their image, they grow attached to their masks. They love their chains. They forget all about who they really are. And if you try to remind them, they hate you for it, they feel like you're trying to steal their most precious possession.”
― Jim Morrison
Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
Oscar Wilde
“It may have been in pieces, but I gave you the best of me.”
― Jim Morrison
“It matters not how straight the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll. I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.”
― William Blake
The most loving parents and relatives commit murder with smiles on their faces. They force us to destroy the person we really are: a subtle kind of murder.
Jim Morrison
“I believe in a long, prolonged, derangement of the senses in order to obtain the unknown.”
Jim Morisson
I usually get myself into situations that cause sparks. I mean I'm a girl that likes the storms. I love feeling alive, I love walking out in the cold in my bare feet and feeling the ice on my toes.
Tori Amos
Some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don't fit into boxes.
Tori Amos
Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much, but you have to crawl into your wounds to discover where your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin.
Tori Amos
Sometimes you have to do what you don't like to get to where you want to be.
Tori Amos
I know I'm an acquired taste - I'm anchovies. And not everybody wants those hairy little things.
Tori Amos
"Without Contraries is no progression.Attraction and Repulsion,Reason and Energy,Love and Hate,are necessary to Human existance.
From these contraries spring what the religious call Good and Evil.
(The marriage of heaven and Hell,William Blake
“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bulls**t. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”Jim Morisson
Some are born to sweet delight,some ae born to the endless night
'I have done bad things but for good reasons'.
If music be the food of love give me excess of it thus suffiting the soul it should die
William Shakespeare Twelth night
Songs of Experience
The clod and the peeble (William Blake)
Love seeketh not itself to please,
Nor for itself hath any care;
But for another gives its ease,
And builds a Heaven in Hells despair
So sang a little clod of clay,
Trodden with the cattles feet,
But a pebble of the brook,
Warbled out these metres meet.
Love seeketh only self to please,
To bind another to its delight:
Joys in anothers loss of ease,
And builds a Hell in Heavens despite.
Plate 14 the ancient tradition that the world will be consumed by fire at the end of six thousand years is true,as I have heard from Hell.
For the cherub with his flaming sword is herby commanded to leave his guard at the tree of life;and when he does ,the whole of creation will be consumed and appear infinate and holy,whereas it now appears finate & corrupt.
This will come to pass by an improvement of sensual enjoyment.But first the notion that man has a body distict from his soul is to be expunged.This I shall do,by printing in the infernal method,by corrsives ,which in Hell are saltutary and medicinal,melting apparent surfaces away,and displaying the infinate which was hid .
If the doors of peretion were cleansed,every thing would appear to man as it is,infinate.For man has closed himself up,till he sees all things thro'narrow chinks of his cavern.William Blake taken from the marriage of Heaven and Hell
Truely ,My Satan ,thou art but a dunce,
And dost not know the Garment from the Man.
Every Harlot was a virgin once,
William Blake (To the Accuser Who Is the God of This World)
I have been astonished that men could die martyrs for their religion -
I have shudder'd at it.
I shudder no more.
I could be martyr'd for my religion
Love is my religion
And I could die for that.
I could die for you.
~ by John Keats
~
The aim of life
is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly--that is what
each of us is here for. People are afraid of themselves, nowadays.
They have forgotten the highest of all duties, the duty that one owes
to one's self. Of course, they are charitable. They feed the hungry
and clothe the beggar. But their own souls starve, and are naked. Oscar Wilde The picture of Dorian Gray
The true genius shudders at incompleteness - and usually prefers silence to saying something which is not everything it should be.
Edgar Allan Poe
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. Marilyn Monroe
“What am I in the eyes of most people — a nonentity, an eccentric, or an unpleasant person — somebody who has no position in society and will never have; in short, the lowest of the low. All right, then — even if that were absolutely true, then I should one day like to show by my work what such an eccentric, such a nobody, has in his heart. That is my ambition, based less on resentment than on love in spite of everything, based more on a feeling of serenity than on passion. Though I am often in the depths of misery, there is still calmness, pure harmony and music inside me. I see paintings or drawings in the poorest cottages, in the dirtiest corners. And my mind is driven towards these things with an irresistible momentum.”
― Vincent van Gogh
We live together, we act on,and react to one another;but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves. The martyrs go hand in hand into the arena; they are crucified alone. Embraced,the lovers desperately try to fuse their insulated ecstasies into a single self transcendence;in vain. By its very nature every embodied spirit is doomed to suffer and enjoy in solitude. Aldous Huxley The Doors of perception
“I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.”
― Edgar Allan Poe
