hey my names carissa and im 20 and i love to do creative things. i love writing and often write poems and short stories. i have no musical tallent or rythem but i love music it is a huge part of my life and soend hours downloading. my favorite bands are breaking benjamin, fly leaf, in this moment, skillet, bullet for my valentine, nirvana i love mostly grunge, alt rock and metal. i consider myself to not be like anyone else i dont have a label im carissa not, emo or scene but that is my taste =) lol.i cosider myself fun smart outgoing but -20 self esteem but it gets better with time
im looking for someone to brighten my world its pretty in black and white and shades of grey but i really want some color.ive had alot of darkness in my time and this is my story if you want to read it.
My story
my life started off complicated i was born ten days late and i weighed under 5 pounds.the hospital told my familly i had to stay untill i gained five pounds. i guess you could say my going home was when the troubble began.you see my mom suffered a miscarrige shortly before i was concieved. and my birth caused her apost pardum depression and she refused to seek help. my dad finally convined her to go and she was diagnosed with a whole lot of mental issues.bipolar disorder, schitzophrenia,paranoia,gorephobia,germaphobia. to make a very long story short my father took me away from her because he felt she was a danger to me.
he took me to live with his parents and him in the bronx and i had a really good childhood i had a loving father and two amazing grandparents.life for me was pretty good till age 7 when my dad wanted to take me on a vacation and i didnt want to go. my grandma saw how upset i was but realized she couldnt stop him from taking me she had no coustody only he did. so she took him to court and sued him for coustody. i as a child was exceptionaly bright and the courts thaught i was capable of decideing my own fate i could not choose and to this day still hate that i was put in that position.my grandma was awarded joint coustody with my father and i remained with her.
untill she was diagnosed with altzhimers in 2000 after about a year my grandpa sent me to live with my dad in brooklyn because it was to hard for him to take care of us both.i lived in brooklyn with my dad for all of highschool but after a while my grandpa put my grandma in a home and didnt want to be alone soo i came back to the bronx last year to help take care of him.and now im back in brooklyn i feel like a basketball bouncing around but..... i love my life very much even the bad things i feel like what we go through helps to make us who we are.
