I may get blasted by FetLife's owner, John Baku, for listing FetLife as a "top" **** dating site. Think of it as a Facebook for ***** folks, and you've got a pretty good idea as to how the underground yet well-populated site works. However, it was never intended for folks to use as a dating site, and it shows by the inability to search folks beyond ****-related interests or location. Baku has recently asked the membership however if folks would like a location-based feature, where you can see where other kinksters are in relation to your own location (like many SMS dating sites already do) so it may prove favorable for members wanting to find love, or at least a play partner nearby. My best tip: find the groups nearby that focus on dating/relationships, and then join them to stay apprised of folks like you wanting to meet up.