I lost a needle in a hay stack once and found it. Everyday is my lucky day. I party like its 1999. I am Australia's next top model. I never perspire. My strengths outweigh my weaknesses. I am constantly caller number 9 and win tickets to all the best shows. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a spatula and a toaster oven. I'm a stellar hugger and a world class cuddler. I dance with the stars. I consistently beat Chuck Norris in arm-wrestling. I shower daily. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. Sushi is my favorite food group. I bake 30 minute brownies in 20 minutes flat. Mums love me and children wanna be me. I know the exact location of every item in the supermarket. I always pick the most fullest and symmetrical Christmas trees. I eat soup, I'm a go-getta. I once climbed Mount Everest, Mount Kilamanjaro, and K-2 using only one bottle of oxygen and a sack of trail mix. I sleep once a day. Basically... I rock.
Oh.. btw... I have the sides of my head shaved, a beard, a tattoo and I ride motorbikes. I don't do drugs. I smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol, those are my poisons of choice.
Don't like it? Tough s**t. ;D
