Not having any parents, I was raised by video games. In highschool, I was the kewl kid that everyone smiled at when they seen me. I got involved in drugs and alcohol but now am Totally clean and sober. I listen to a variety of music- punk, ska, techno, metal, classic rock, gothic, industrial, rap, hip-hop, indie, classical, and 80's. I am very intelligent (148) and love intellectual conversations. I practice Honesty in all my affairs. I am very easy to get along with and a overall pleasant person who is modest, humble, and respectful. I am not aggressive but assertive. I also have a decent sense of humor.
Six things I could never do without:
Great food
Music
5 Senses
Love
s*x
Adrenaline
I spend a lot of time thinking about:
When will the world get male birth control pills?
What if the hokey poke is what it’s all about?
How to make more desserts on the BBQ.
If everyone Wang Chungs tonight, what would tomorrow be like?
Or the great debate of green vs red Tabasco, do you want the heat or the flavor?
Bein Dead We all gotta die sometime so everyone has something to say about it. There is a comedian i know that says "I want to die peacefully and in my sleep just like my grandfather, not screaming like the passengers in his car". Another guy i know told me "just stuff me and put me on the side of the road pointing the right way to somewhere". Another guy said "grind me up and put me in a big pie for everyone to eat". If i had to choose a time it would be in the last five minutes of this shift i gotta work that way i could inconvenience my douche bag manager with the last thing i do on this earth. My funeral would be a closed casket ceremony and people would get up on a podium to tell the crowd things like i still owed them money and sh*tlike that. On the third person the curtains behind the podium would open up and THERE would be my body hanging from cables like a giant marionette. Suddenly machines attached to the cables would start making the cables pull and my body go into a violent dance while that song "I like to move it move it" would come over loudspeakers. About a minute into the song i would have pyrotechnics blow my head off of my body and into a ball of flames to bounce down the funeral hall. After the song was over the machines wouldnt stop and someone would have to eventually cut me down. Then just throw me in the dumpster and dont worry about it. I used to play with my grandfather a lot while growing up. He died right before i was born but my parents had him cremated and put into an etch a sketch
I had a date to get back together with my ex last week and just kinda talk things out. I had rented the van and bought the ski mask and EVERYTHING but the bitch changed her joggin route THAT morning. She could never commit. I dont know why the church has started doing it but ive been collecting them decorative little crosses on the side of the highway...they make GREAT inspirational gifts. I was just getting a particularly flowery one for my aunt when a state trooper pulled up and started asking me all these annoying f**king questions including "why do you have a spotlight in your backseat". And i kindly explained "well officer somtimes my ex gets a lil crafty and escapes out of my shed and i have to find her in the woods with it because its simply HELL trying to catch her again". and he looks at me and after a long moment he says "keeps changin that joggin route is it?" and i said "HOW DO YOU KNOW?!" and he said "dont worry son, one day she will 'see the light'" and he pointed and the spotlight. NOW that is a f**king comedian.
m really getting tired of these girls that cant make up their minds what they want. the other day i met this girl at the club and we wound u...p going back to my house and fooling around. Next thing i know this bitch wants me to piss on her. I gotta be honest at first I felt uncomfortable...kinda like when you were little and grandma first taught you how to kiss kind of uncomfortable...but without all that tobacco taste...anywho, i got over it and played along and we wound up having a real good time so the next morning i decided to suprise her. I went to her work, walked up to her desk and after yelling "hey party girl" to get her attention i splashed her in the face with this warm cup of piss i had just made for her at the gasstation. Well, instead of pulling a little plastic cowboy hat out of her purse like she did the night before all of a sudden she starts screaming and hollering and the police were called and a restraining order was filed and im NEVER allowed back at the texas no fault insurance agency on commerce EVER again and all im trying to say is im getting SICK and tired of these women that cant make up their minds what they want.
