Some facts about me:
+ My favorite color is clear.
+ I can kill a man with bran flakes and salad tongs. I could tell you how, but then I'd have to kill you... with bran flakes and salad tongs.
+ I just watch the Rose Bowl for the commercials.
+ I sincerely believe that Steve Irwin was the victim of a hate crime.
+ I like sending blank texts to people just so they will send a reply telling me that the text was blank.
+ I just pretend to be a poser.
+ I just realized that the automatic air freshener in my bathroom has been spraying directly onto my toothbrush for the past week.
Some of my hobbies include taking pictures of odd-looking strangers in public, checking the smart phones at cellular stores to see if anyone forgot to log out of their Facebook account and then kindly updating their status for them, going to thrift stores and buying ridiculous t-shirts, putting up phony ads on craigslist offering to sell my kidney, and other boring stuff. I love electro industrial music. I don't like s**tty music. The word "poop" never fails to make me smile. I'm smiling right now.
Facebook, anyone?
